Time Well Wasted
"It Strikes! One, two, three, four, five, six. Enough, enough, dear watch, thy pulse hath beat enough. Now sleep and rest; would thou could'st make the time to do so too, I'll wind thee up no more." - Ben Jonson
There is a TV station whose slogan is "Time Well Wasted", and it got me thinking about my time. How do I use it? What value do I put on it? Who do I let partake of it? Do I allow them to waste it? How much of it do I have left? Do I have enough to finish writing this entry? Will I get to see my granddaughter go to school? Better still will I get to see her graduate? All of these are very good questions and there are many more that could be added.
You see when I gave up gambling, for a very short period there was an abundance of time. Today, however this is not the case, mainly because of all the activities that have been added to my schedule. From my morning walk, to my time with my granddaughter, to my meetings and the time I spend working on my recovery, plus my job and the work I do around the house, my days are usually very full. But are they? What about the time I spend thinking about my current situation and how I can move myself forward? What about the time I spend worrying about my relationships with various people and if things are going to get better or worse? What about the time I waste thinking about all of the time I have wasted? Are any of these good uses of my time?
If there is one thing that I have learned since I stopped gambling, it is that being a good administrater of time does not mean that you will make good use of your time. Just when I think that I have most facets of my life in good working order, something happens that makes me feel very fragile. This in turn brings a level of fear into my life, which in turn causes worry, which in turn causes me to question most everything in my life, which in turn makes me believe that I am wasting a great deal of precious time. So, after all this fear, worrying, questioning and wasting, what am I left with?
After reading what I have just written it seems clear to me that I have to believe in the current choices that I am making. If I compare my life today against what my life was like a very short time ago, one could argue that my choices have been very good to date. No gambling, no smoking, healthy living, a financial contributor to my family, a vision of my future, the ability to live independently for the first time in a very long time and a renewed belief in my own abilities. Not to bad in less than two years. Maybe my time is not well wasted after all.
The moral of the story is that if you are free from your addiction, you are already doing better. If you are moving your life forward, even in very small steps, you are indeed on the right road. Don't over think, don't allow other people to make you over think and be happy with your progress, you deserve it!
There is a TV station whose slogan is "Time Well Wasted", and it got me thinking about my time. How do I use it? What value do I put on it? Who do I let partake of it? Do I allow them to waste it? How much of it do I have left? Do I have enough to finish writing this entry? Will I get to see my granddaughter go to school? Better still will I get to see her graduate? All of these are very good questions and there are many more that could be added.
You see when I gave up gambling, for a very short period there was an abundance of time. Today, however this is not the case, mainly because of all the activities that have been added to my schedule. From my morning walk, to my time with my granddaughter, to my meetings and the time I spend working on my recovery, plus my job and the work I do around the house, my days are usually very full. But are they? What about the time I spend thinking about my current situation and how I can move myself forward? What about the time I spend worrying about my relationships with various people and if things are going to get better or worse? What about the time I waste thinking about all of the time I have wasted? Are any of these good uses of my time?
If there is one thing that I have learned since I stopped gambling, it is that being a good administrater of time does not mean that you will make good use of your time. Just when I think that I have most facets of my life in good working order, something happens that makes me feel very fragile. This in turn brings a level of fear into my life, which in turn causes worry, which in turn causes me to question most everything in my life, which in turn makes me believe that I am wasting a great deal of precious time. So, after all this fear, worrying, questioning and wasting, what am I left with?
After reading what I have just written it seems clear to me that I have to believe in the current choices that I am making. If I compare my life today against what my life was like a very short time ago, one could argue that my choices have been very good to date. No gambling, no smoking, healthy living, a financial contributor to my family, a vision of my future, the ability to live independently for the first time in a very long time and a renewed belief in my own abilities. Not to bad in less than two years. Maybe my time is not well wasted after all.
The moral of the story is that if you are free from your addiction, you are already doing better. If you are moving your life forward, even in very small steps, you are indeed on the right road. Don't over think, don't allow other people to make you over think and be happy with your progress, you deserve it!
posted by Taximan at 7:57 PM
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