Truth
"The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable." - Jim Davis
As you can tell from my recent postings, truth or honesty, which ever you wish to call it, was a hard nut to crack for me. When faced with the decision to tell the truth to my employer, after great soul searching, I was able to do it. In return I had a tremendous weight lifted from my shoulders. However, my new found honesty could not take me all the way. Whichever way we look at it, for most people, we associate truth with pain. For me to go all the way and tell my wife and children the truth, I just couldn't do it. Why? Because I thought I would lose them, and for me, this was too much pain. The way I saw it, I had to deal with the pain of my illegal activity, anymore pain at that time, would have been more than I could bear. Or so I thought.
Notice whose pain I didn't think about. I didn't think about my wife's pain, or my children's pain, or my parent's pain, or my friend's pain. No, my pain was more important. That is what happens to most of us in life. We believe that by telling the truth, or by being honest with ourselves, we will create to much pain for ourselves and for those closest to us. We continue to tell ourselves whatever makes us content, not happy, but content. My gambling is not a problem. I don't drink too much. It is okay to smoke a joint as long as I don't try anything harder. Smoking cigarettes really doesn't cause cancer. I don't need to lose weight, I am perfectly healthy the way I am. The list can go on and on. We don't care who else we are hurting as long as our pain is not too great.
As a compulsive gambler, if there is one lesson that I have learned, it is that there is no place in my life for lies and deceit. Being honest with yourself, first, and truthful with those that you love, second, is what makes your life complete. You never have to remember the truth. You will always be able to look in the mirror. It turns out, that when I finally told my wife about my legal problems and how I really lost my job, the world did not end. Was she hurt, without a doubt. Did she leave me, no. Did we go through another difficult time, for sure. But everything that I created in my mind just did not happen.
Earlier, I wrote that we don't care who else we are hurting. The truth is, the person we are hurting the most is ourselves. You see if everyone in our lives deserted us and we were left to make it on our own, as long as we were honest with ourselves, we can make it. The reality, however, is that when we are honest with ourselves, we are automaticly honest with other people. In turn, that endears people to us instead of away from us. Go figure.
Life is tough and the circumstances that we have to deal with on a daily basis sometimes make it tougher than we would like it to be. But if at the end of the day, we can look at ourselves in the mirror, knowing that we did our best, that we were honest with not only ourselves, but with those that we encountered throughout the day, life will be good. When I compare today with yesterday, I realize by contrast, what great benefits and blessings I have today. My name is John, and to tell you the truth, I am a compulsive gambler.
As you can tell from my recent postings, truth or honesty, which ever you wish to call it, was a hard nut to crack for me. When faced with the decision to tell the truth to my employer, after great soul searching, I was able to do it. In return I had a tremendous weight lifted from my shoulders. However, my new found honesty could not take me all the way. Whichever way we look at it, for most people, we associate truth with pain. For me to go all the way and tell my wife and children the truth, I just couldn't do it. Why? Because I thought I would lose them, and for me, this was too much pain. The way I saw it, I had to deal with the pain of my illegal activity, anymore pain at that time, would have been more than I could bear. Or so I thought.
Notice whose pain I didn't think about. I didn't think about my wife's pain, or my children's pain, or my parent's pain, or my friend's pain. No, my pain was more important. That is what happens to most of us in life. We believe that by telling the truth, or by being honest with ourselves, we will create to much pain for ourselves and for those closest to us. We continue to tell ourselves whatever makes us content, not happy, but content. My gambling is not a problem. I don't drink too much. It is okay to smoke a joint as long as I don't try anything harder. Smoking cigarettes really doesn't cause cancer. I don't need to lose weight, I am perfectly healthy the way I am. The list can go on and on. We don't care who else we are hurting as long as our pain is not too great.
As a compulsive gambler, if there is one lesson that I have learned, it is that there is no place in my life for lies and deceit. Being honest with yourself, first, and truthful with those that you love, second, is what makes your life complete. You never have to remember the truth. You will always be able to look in the mirror. It turns out, that when I finally told my wife about my legal problems and how I really lost my job, the world did not end. Was she hurt, without a doubt. Did she leave me, no. Did we go through another difficult time, for sure. But everything that I created in my mind just did not happen.
Earlier, I wrote that we don't care who else we are hurting. The truth is, the person we are hurting the most is ourselves. You see if everyone in our lives deserted us and we were left to make it on our own, as long as we were honest with ourselves, we can make it. The reality, however, is that when we are honest with ourselves, we are automaticly honest with other people. In turn, that endears people to us instead of away from us. Go figure.
Life is tough and the circumstances that we have to deal with on a daily basis sometimes make it tougher than we would like it to be. But if at the end of the day, we can look at ourselves in the mirror, knowing that we did our best, that we were honest with not only ourselves, but with those that we encountered throughout the day, life will be good. When I compare today with yesterday, I realize by contrast, what great benefits and blessings I have today. My name is John, and to tell you the truth, I am a compulsive gambler.
posted by Taximan at 10:37 AM
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