Teach Me To Love
"Love withers under constraints; its very essence is liberty; it is compatible neither with obedience, jealousy, nor fear; it is there most pure, perfect, and unlimited where it votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve." - Percy Bysshe Shelley
If there is one thing that I firmly believe that I have in common with other compulsive gamblers, it is our inability to love unconditionally. This is very strange indeed, due to the fact that we are one group of people who receive a tremendous amount of love unconditionally. Without stepping to far out of bounds, by speaking for other people, let me relate what I believe about myself.
It is not that I don't love others, it is that I love others with certain strings attached to that love. My love comes to others with a series of qualifiers. My own selfishness, insecurity and fear, has kept me from knowing and experiencing the true meaning of love my entire life. Whether it was conditioned in me as a child, or maybe it is just a piece of my character, this inability to love unconditionally, has cheated not only those close to me, but I have been cheated as well. What is more tragic, is the fact that if I fail to change, just as in my gambling days, my losses will continue to grow.
So where do I go from here? Can you teach a person how to love? Well, I had a chat with my old friend today, and I asked that same question. My old friend has tremendous wisdom, and a wealth of experience when it comes to love. So the answer was an obvious "yes you can teach someone how to love". So together we made a pact, my old friend would provide the teaching and I would provide the willingness to learn. The only condition that was attached by my teacher, was to have "patience".
Just maybe another character flaw will lose the battle to "love".
If there is one thing that I firmly believe that I have in common with other compulsive gamblers, it is our inability to love unconditionally. This is very strange indeed, due to the fact that we are one group of people who receive a tremendous amount of love unconditionally. Without stepping to far out of bounds, by speaking for other people, let me relate what I believe about myself.
It is not that I don't love others, it is that I love others with certain strings attached to that love. My love comes to others with a series of qualifiers. My own selfishness, insecurity and fear, has kept me from knowing and experiencing the true meaning of love my entire life. Whether it was conditioned in me as a child, or maybe it is just a piece of my character, this inability to love unconditionally, has cheated not only those close to me, but I have been cheated as well. What is more tragic, is the fact that if I fail to change, just as in my gambling days, my losses will continue to grow.
So where do I go from here? Can you teach a person how to love? Well, I had a chat with my old friend today, and I asked that same question. My old friend has tremendous wisdom, and a wealth of experience when it comes to love. So the answer was an obvious "yes you can teach someone how to love". So together we made a pact, my old friend would provide the teaching and I would provide the willingness to learn. The only condition that was attached by my teacher, was to have "patience".
Just maybe another character flaw will lose the battle to "love".
posted by Taximan at 10:30 AM
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