Understanding An Addict - Part II
"Charity sees the need, not the cause." - German Proverb
When an addict is not under the spell of their addiction, they are like a child learning to walk, they are usually afraid of taking that first step. This is why it is much easier for an addict to be eaten up by guilt, self-pity, hopelessness and worthlessness. Most addicts have spent years lying to their loved ones, cheating them out of valuable time, stealing their love and replacing it with emptiness. The only place an addict believes they can go to rid themselves of this guilt, is back to their addiction. It can take years for an addict to see the value of self-help groups like GA or AA.
When an addict finally makes a real commitment to seeking help, they need the charity of the group and of those they love to help them succeed. Many addicts are very anxious to find the cause behind their addiction. Why did this happen to me? Many may die without knowing. For me, I have been clean now for nearly two years, I don't care about the why anymore. My focus now is on the quality of my life today, not on the pain of yesterday.
The most important thing an addict can do once they find that road to recovery, is to forgive themselves.
Why is it so easy for people to put down an addict. "He's only a drunk, he was never any good." "He's a dope head, all he does is use people." "She is not fit to be a mother, all she does is spend her time on those machines." That drunk, dope head and gambler, are all human beings. Like every other human being they are not perfect. They made mistakes. They hurt people, the biggest hurt however, was to themselves. Have you ever made a mistake? Have you ever hurt somebody? Have you ever had feelings of guilt, self-pity, hopelessness and worthlessness? I believe you have, maybe not to the same degree as an addict, but you have a sense of how it feels to be alone and helpless.
My purpose here is not to justify the characteristics of an addict. As a gambler, I was a liar, a thief, a manipulator, a user and a person most people would sooner have nothing to do with. But, I was also a son, a husband, a father, a friend and someone who needed help.
When you speak about an addict again, speak with love, not disappointment, speak of hope, not failure, speak with charity, not disgust, and always remember, it could be your son or daughter, your husband or wife, your friend. Offer love and it will be returned, in time.
When an addict is not under the spell of their addiction, they are like a child learning to walk, they are usually afraid of taking that first step. This is why it is much easier for an addict to be eaten up by guilt, self-pity, hopelessness and worthlessness. Most addicts have spent years lying to their loved ones, cheating them out of valuable time, stealing their love and replacing it with emptiness. The only place an addict believes they can go to rid themselves of this guilt, is back to their addiction. It can take years for an addict to see the value of self-help groups like GA or AA.
When an addict finally makes a real commitment to seeking help, they need the charity of the group and of those they love to help them succeed. Many addicts are very anxious to find the cause behind their addiction. Why did this happen to me? Many may die without knowing. For me, I have been clean now for nearly two years, I don't care about the why anymore. My focus now is on the quality of my life today, not on the pain of yesterday.
The most important thing an addict can do once they find that road to recovery, is to forgive themselves.
Why is it so easy for people to put down an addict. "He's only a drunk, he was never any good." "He's a dope head, all he does is use people." "She is not fit to be a mother, all she does is spend her time on those machines." That drunk, dope head and gambler, are all human beings. Like every other human being they are not perfect. They made mistakes. They hurt people, the biggest hurt however, was to themselves. Have you ever made a mistake? Have you ever hurt somebody? Have you ever had feelings of guilt, self-pity, hopelessness and worthlessness? I believe you have, maybe not to the same degree as an addict, but you have a sense of how it feels to be alone and helpless.
My purpose here is not to justify the characteristics of an addict. As a gambler, I was a liar, a thief, a manipulator, a user and a person most people would sooner have nothing to do with. But, I was also a son, a husband, a father, a friend and someone who needed help.
When you speak about an addict again, speak with love, not disappointment, speak of hope, not failure, speak with charity, not disgust, and always remember, it could be your son or daughter, your husband or wife, your friend. Offer love and it will be returned, in time.
posted by Taximan at 12:12 PM
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