Choices
"Life is the sum of all your choices." - Albert Camus
As I look back at my life, it is almost impossible to believe the choices I have made in my life. While some of my choices have been very good and the result has been outstanding, a great number of my choices has caused both myself and others a great deal of pain. The biggest change during my recovery, however has been my wording, early in my recovery I was looking for someone to blame my weaknesses on, today I am aware that my weaknesses were really very bad choices. When things go wrong for most people, the first thing they look for is a reason or excuse or something or someone to blame their troubles on. In reality all they need to do is look at the choices they made prior to the arrival of the trouble in their lives.
Today, something happened while I was working, that really caused me to reflect about my gambling and the tremendous turmoil it caused in my life and the lives of those around me. I picked up a gentleman at a club and he told me the address where he wanted to go. He seemed a little agitated and spoke only about the weather. When we got to his home, he asked me to wait for him. He hurried inside leaving the front door to his home completely open and returned in less than thirty seconds and asked me to bring him back to the club. As we drove he fumbled with a number of twenty dollar bills, counting and re-counting, almost like he expected there to be more. Once we arrived back at the club, he paid me and hurried inside.
As I sat in the parking lot my mind drifted back to my gambling days. Everything I witnessed in this man today, I remembered myself doing many, many times before. He had obviously gambled all of his money and instead of quitting and going home, he had to get more money, he had the belief that this machine was going to pay. He had no regard for his own self or anyone else in his life. It was between him and the machine and he was certain he was going to win. What he didn't realize was that the real winner was the addiction itself, the addict was in control and the addict was calling the shots.
Now take a moment and examine the ten minutes in this man's life that I just related to you. Look at the number of choices he made in a very brief period of time, and think about what his life would be like had he made a different choice at any given time. His first choice was to get more money, to achieve this he needed transportation, so his second choice was to call a cab. When he arrived home, he could have stayed there, but no, his third choice was to take more money and his fourth choice was to return to the club and his fifth choice was to feed the machine more money. In less than ten minutes he made five choices, if either one of those choices had been different, I guarantee you his life would have improved as well.
From the moment we open our eyes in the morning we begin making choices, some habitual, others because we believe we have no other options, and still others because we believe it is the proper choice to make. Life is the sum of all of our choices, both good and bad. My belief today is that we all need to take a moment and reflect on the choices we are going to make. Think about their impact, not only on yourself but on others as well. There is one bit of advice I can give you - as sure as you take control of the choices in your life, you take control of your life.
The choice is yours.
As I look back at my life, it is almost impossible to believe the choices I have made in my life. While some of my choices have been very good and the result has been outstanding, a great number of my choices has caused both myself and others a great deal of pain. The biggest change during my recovery, however has been my wording, early in my recovery I was looking for someone to blame my weaknesses on, today I am aware that my weaknesses were really very bad choices. When things go wrong for most people, the first thing they look for is a reason or excuse or something or someone to blame their troubles on. In reality all they need to do is look at the choices they made prior to the arrival of the trouble in their lives.
Today, something happened while I was working, that really caused me to reflect about my gambling and the tremendous turmoil it caused in my life and the lives of those around me. I picked up a gentleman at a club and he told me the address where he wanted to go. He seemed a little agitated and spoke only about the weather. When we got to his home, he asked me to wait for him. He hurried inside leaving the front door to his home completely open and returned in less than thirty seconds and asked me to bring him back to the club. As we drove he fumbled with a number of twenty dollar bills, counting and re-counting, almost like he expected there to be more. Once we arrived back at the club, he paid me and hurried inside.
As I sat in the parking lot my mind drifted back to my gambling days. Everything I witnessed in this man today, I remembered myself doing many, many times before. He had obviously gambled all of his money and instead of quitting and going home, he had to get more money, he had the belief that this machine was going to pay. He had no regard for his own self or anyone else in his life. It was between him and the machine and he was certain he was going to win. What he didn't realize was that the real winner was the addiction itself, the addict was in control and the addict was calling the shots.
Now take a moment and examine the ten minutes in this man's life that I just related to you. Look at the number of choices he made in a very brief period of time, and think about what his life would be like had he made a different choice at any given time. His first choice was to get more money, to achieve this he needed transportation, so his second choice was to call a cab. When he arrived home, he could have stayed there, but no, his third choice was to take more money and his fourth choice was to return to the club and his fifth choice was to feed the machine more money. In less than ten minutes he made five choices, if either one of those choices had been different, I guarantee you his life would have improved as well.
From the moment we open our eyes in the morning we begin making choices, some habitual, others because we believe we have no other options, and still others because we believe it is the proper choice to make. Life is the sum of all of our choices, both good and bad. My belief today is that we all need to take a moment and reflect on the choices we are going to make. Think about their impact, not only on yourself but on others as well. There is one bit of advice I can give you - as sure as you take control of the choices in your life, you take control of your life.
The choice is yours.
posted by Taximan at 10:28 PM
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